Here I are

I've been away from most of my online friends since July 18. Eventually I needed hospital care and there was no argument there. On Day 2 (last Tuesday)

I was so mentally confused that I believed I was at a summer camp. When I asked for more pain medicine I was refused. I was angry with my nurse who couldn't get me to understand her perspective. Then I was angry with the staff for alarming the bed so I couldn't get up - exactly what I planned to do because I had a small bottle of morphine stuffed away.

Then I was angry that I hadn't dosed myself on the way to the Emergency Department, hadn't brought others meds that I take routinely, then I started to wonder who, exactly, was in charge of my care (irresponsibility I had been able to overlook).

Now I was just stuck. Who, if anyone, was overlooking my medical care? who was paying for my care? with a cell-phone packed away in the purse I couldn't touch, how could I reach Steve?

I went from anxiety to anger, then panic to rage.

I will probably go home tomorrow - if the fever stays down and the white cells continues to recede. Lucidity is normal, speech and brain functions have also improved to what seems normal to me. Steve and I notice regained skills each day.

So I should be back on my merry way tomorrow................... and writing to you almost daily.

Steve was so funny this morning. "I've learned so much about the female anatomy this week - what
"wings" and "no wings" means -- and who wants this information? How does one apply it to a leaking partner?

See you tomorrow, I say precariously..............................